Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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