Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
