grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
