I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
