I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
