The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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