He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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