Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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