For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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