I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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