sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
