he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
