whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
