glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
