Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
