My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
