take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
