Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
