I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize