What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
