Do you still have your period?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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