when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
