I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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