Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
