We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
