You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
