You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm always down for nudity.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
