I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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