when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize