Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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