Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
