if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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