So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize