This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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