I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize