Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
