Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize