Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
