I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
