During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
