Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
