dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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