he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
