I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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