yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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