I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
