So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
