Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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