I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
