Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
