Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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