I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
