She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
