he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fuck appropriateness.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
FUCK WHALES
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize