Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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