I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
