Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We just shotgunned beers for America
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
