just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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