Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
