We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
