dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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