The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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