I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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